013 Down to Last Klonopin Pill

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The original post for this daily diary began HERE.

March 9, 2010
013

It's been 4 months since I've updated this blog on what's going on with me and the benzodiazepine withdrawal. I have 7 months left to go until I'm benzo free. This past week, I got down to my last .5 mg pill (I began tapering about 2 1/2 years ago off 3 mg.).

I am wanting off this drug so badly, I'd just about give anything to be off it. I'm water titrating with 250 ml of water and removing 1 ml a day. I was using 200 ml for the past 6 days, but the withdrawal symptoms have been so bad this past week using that amount that I can't stand the pain, anxiety, paranoia, tremors and all the fun things that go along with being addicted to this nasty medication.

My prayers are still that doctors will have their eyes opened to what they are doing to people every day by giving them these horrible medications. Why not ask them about nutrition, check for hormone imbalances and vitamin and mineral deficiencies? I realize there's not much money in doing the right thing, but at least the patient wouldn't end up addicted to a medication which causes these symptoms.

Anyway, enough of my rant against prescription drugs and the doctors who give them. By my calculations, I will be off the Klonopin in 224 days which will be around my son's 22nd birthday. Now that is something to celebrate!

Tamara Slack

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012 Began Mil Adregen, Seriphos, and Symplex F

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November 27, 2009
012

Been really sick lately. My body doesn't do well with change and there's been some changes! Low blood sugar has been bothering me along with an abundance of histamine in my body (itchy, itchy!) and a general feeling of weakness has come over me. Your prayers are always appreciated!

1. November 10, 2009. Began using Mil Adregen per Dr. Neville's advice. By the next day, my husband and I realized it's not for me! Poor Roger. If anyone needs prayer, it's my husband. He is so good in caring for me though. What I experienced: brain fog, anxiety (like climbing the walls kind of anxiety!), iching and prickly skin, breathing problems, on edge, anger, crying, very alert, feeling ramped up and could run a marathon. Within fifteen minutes of taking one of the pills, this is how I felt. Took it for two days, called the doctor's office and they said to stop taking it, but to give it a try very slowly in a few days (not at 3 pills a day, but 1 a day). I did so, but it again didn't work out well. Same symptoms, but not as bad. Tried this for three days, then doctor said to quit and sent me Symplex F and Pregnenolone to try something different. Apparently this glandular support can be too much for some people as Clymer's website says, "Mil Adregen is our standard remedy for adrenal gland support. The only caveat is that it is such a potent remedy that some patients find they are sensitive to some components. For these we have other remedies, like Isocort and Adrenal Cortex Fractions."

2. November 16, 2009. Began Seriphos (All natural Phosphorylated Serine and Ethanolamine) to help with the anxiety and insomnia (still sleeping 4 - 6 hours interrupted each night. I think I would do okay if it was 6 hours straight!). Supposed to take 1 at 2pm, 5pm, 8pm, and bed, up to 8 a day though. Within a few days, I was up to the 8 pills a day. At the time of writing this, I am finding that 9 pills a day (every 1.5 hours from afternoon to bed plus one each time I wake in the middle of the night) helps with the anxiety and gives me a deeper sleep though not much more than 6 to 7 hours, interrupted. I also find that if too much cortisol and adrenaline starts up (giving a panic attack), if I take one or two every 15 minutes until I feel better, that gives some relief to my adrenal glands.

3. November 27, 2009. Began Symplex F made by Standard Process. This is extracts from bovine ovary, adrenal, pituitary, and thyroid glands. I started with one pill at 9am with meal. I have no idea how this is going to work out yet as I just took it fifteen minutes ago.

However this all works out and whether I get better or not, the Holy Spirit has given me this little gem to meditate on lately which is recorded in Matthew 11.28-30:

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." - Jesus Christ

I wish I could say I believe that all the time and rest in it continually. I wish I could just "suck it up" and "pull up my bootstraps" too, but I'll tell ya, I would trade this hormonal illness with just about anything else. One adrenal patient was healed after a long time of going through this same stuff and after living a "normal" life for a while got breast cancer. She sighed in relief that it was only cancer and said she thought the doctor was going to tell her it was Chronic Fatigue Illness again. Yes, it's that bad to prefer cancer over this! Like she said, at least there's something you can do for cancer. (I realize people die of cancer all the time and no one is guaranteed to get better from cancer. I tell that story only to get across how severe CFS / Hypoadrenia is in comparison to such a horrific disease as cancer.)

My other blogs can be found HERE and HERE.
The original post for this daily diary began HERE.

Forgiven much,
Tamara Slack

9 Minutes of Your Time, Please?

Two videos of people going through Klonopin withdrawal. Please take 9 minutes of your time to watch and listen to what these people are saying. This is exactly what I went through when I stopped Klonopin cold turkey (had to go back on to taper down safely later though). I know it's a lot to ask people to stop and take 9 minutes to understand what's going on with people who are trying to get off medication they trusted doctors with, but please do it. If you know doctors who can start learning about benzodiazepines, please forward these videos to them. Hopefully one day there will be more doctors who are willing to say that this is not okay. There are many videos, but I just picked out two for now:

For the next one, you might have to turn up the audio:

The videos can be found HERE and HERE.

Please also pray for them and for anyone suffering through benzodiazepine withdrawal. It can last months or years. It's much worse than any street drug and is killing people too. A helpful resource is The Road Back Program where you can learn to taper off benzodiazepines (and other psychotropic drugs) safely. Thank you for your 9 minutes.

My other blogs can be found HERE and HERE.

The original post for this daily diary began HERE.

Coram Deo,
Tamara Slack

Side Effects of Klonopin

*** If you received this message in an email and either cannot view it or would like to visit the original blog entry, go to my blog: http://www.benzology.blogspot.com ***

Tamara Slack

I don't write much on this blog. I have a couple others that I try to keep updated (you can read them at: Grace Abounds and Sew And Stitch), but when I find something that I believe would be helpful for others to make informed decisions or give updates on what's going on with my health in regards to the benzodiazepine I was prescribed 13 years ago, I try to updated it. Today, I found the side effects list for Klonopin. Why oh why did I not read the little print before the lady put the pill in my mouth?

Today I was reading an email from "The Road Back" program. They are helping me with supplements and a pre-taper program as I get off this very addictive medication (I know, I know, doctors say you can get off it in 6 weeks, but then why are people suffering so much like this lady?). I thank Jesus for The Road Back people! I have been to numerous doctors over the years and hospitals. You know they never, ever asked me about nutrition? Isn't that amazing? I could be eating rubber tires and drinking window cleaner for all they knew. It matters not. They are trained to find the problem and fix it with little pills. Little pills make big money, did 'ya know?

I just want to post the side effects of the medication my central nervous system is still addicted to (no I am not a junkie - but boy that would be a LOT easier than getting off a doctor-approved medication!). If this helps one person make an informed decision about this medication, I will be a happy gal! Since I'm not a doctor and cannot tell you not to take Klonopin, I'll just tell you what I go through on a daily basis:

*** hypoglycemia (low blood sugar)

*** "female" problems
*** endocrine problems
*** confusion
*** tremors (please watch short video on that here)
*** hyper sensitive to cleaning chemicals (i.e. bleach... can't breathe, chest tightens, become fatigued, heart palpitations. Have had to change all cleaning agents to natural products)
*** blurred eyes
*** increased appetite
*** early perimenopause
*** loss of balance (yes, I have "fallen" into my walls even at home!)
*** thoughts like I'm not even "here" (VERY weird and scary)
*** fatigue / exhausted
*** suicidal thoughts and tendencies (I refer you to this video here, children are killing themselves on the medicines doctors are giving them)
*** nausea
*** severe mood swings like from happy and joyous to raging anger (I'm so sad for my husband, really)
*** tearfulness (all of a sudden, I cry for NO reason and can't stop crying. Nothing sets it off; it is something biological happening to me)
*** body pain all over (usually lasts a few days and then I don't have the pain for another week or whenever it decides to come back. No massages or anything help)
*** inability to leave the house
*** muscle weakness
*** panic attacks
*** dry mouth
*** heart palpitations
*** pain in the chest and esophogus
*** adrenal fatigue (adrenal glands are severely messed up!)
*** weight gain (went from size 12 to size 20)
*** increase PMS / PMDD problems
*** strange fears
*** racing thoughts (can't stop this and feels like going crazy - doesn't last forever though)
*** migraines
*** pain in fingers and hands
*** memory problems
*** I forgot what I was going to type here (JUST KIDDING! Just the memory problems!)
*** left side of body a little numb and left leg sometimes not working
*** jaw pain
*** nightmares
*** insomnia
*** boxy tight stomach
*** heaviness in limbs
*** tight band feeling around my head
*** flu symptoms (without the flu!)
*** and more!

It's quite amazing... I went in because I was a single mom, working full time with very little help and no support (emotional, physical, or financial) from my son's father and had my son at age 17. You think the doctors would say, "you know, I think you are stressed." No, no, they said, "you have bipolar, a mood disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and borderline personality disorder" and said I had to take these pills for the rest of my life, will have to increase them and that I might actually commit suicide. Not the greatest of hope, huh? My doctors are all fired. Figuring since my great-grandmother killed herself and she was on Valium (a medication not nearly as strong as the Klonopin I'm on) and three other people in my family committed suicide, I figured I was doomed to shoot myself in the head someday or inhale the exhaust from my car. I did try after I got on the medication, but it didn't work (THANK GOD! I really do because I would have died in my sins, unforgiven. I had not repented of my sin and trusted Christ back then so I was not born again). Anyway...

Below is the side effects list for Klonopin (are we really supposed to take things that do this to us?):

SIDE EFFECTS OF KLONOPIN

CARDIAC DISORDERS

Palpitation - Perceptible forcible pulsation of the heart, usually with an increase in frequency or force, with or without irregularity in rhythm.

Tachycardia - Rapid heart rate.

EAR AND LABYRINTH DISORDERS

Ear pain - Any pain connected to the inner or outer portion of the ear.

Tinnitus - A sound in one ear or both ears, such as buzzing, ringing, or whistling, occurring without an external stimulus and usually caused by a separate condition, such as the use of benzodiazepines.

Vertigo - A sensation of irregular or whirling motion, either of oneself or of external objects.

EYE DISORDER

Blurred vision - Compared to normal, a distortion of vision.

Mydriasis - Prolonged abnormal dilation of the pupil of the eye induced by a rug or caused by disease.

Photophobia - An abnormal sensitivity to or intolerance of light, especially by the eyes, as may be caused by eye inflammation. An abnormal fear of light.

GASTROINTESTIONAL DISORDERS

Abdominal pain -Pain between the chest and pelvis, stomach, intestines, liver, spleen, and pancreas.

Constipation - Difficulty having normal bowel movement.

Diarrhea - Excessive and frequent evacuation of watery feces.

Dry mouth - When the mouth is dry beyond what might be normal.

Dyspepsia - Disturbed digestion; indigestion.

Dysphagia - Difficulty in swallowing or inability to swallow.

Nausea - A feeling of sickness with the urge to vomit.

Pharyngolaryngeal syndrome - Of or pertaining to the larynx or pharynx.

Salivary hypersecretion - A continual or excessive amount of saliva that us uncontrollable.

Vomiting - Ejecting all or part of the stomach contents.

GENERAL DISORDERS

Asthenia - Loss or lack of bodily strength.

Chest tightness - A feeling in the chest of contraction.

Edema - An accumulation of an excessive amount of watery fluid in cells, tissues, or serous cavities.

Fatigue - The body feeling drained of energy

Feeling drunk - Feelings associated with drinking too much alcohol.

Feeling hot or cold - An uncontrollable feeling of being too hot or cold that is abnormal for the temperature.

Feeling jittery - An uneasy feeling often associated with the inability to remain still.

Hangover - Feeling like the day after consuming too much alcohol. All or a few hangover sensations may be present.

Increased energy - An abnormal amount of energy bordering on hyperness.

Loss of control of legs - Inability to control legs, such as restless leg syndrome.

Malaise - A vague feeling of bodily discomfort, as at the beginning of an illness.

Pyrexia - Fever

Rigors - Shivering or trembling, as caused by a chill. A state of rigidity in living tissues or organs that prevents response to stimuli.

Sluggishness - A fatigue type feeling or dull.

Thirst - An abnormal sensation of needing liquid.

Weakness - A reduced state of normal energy and stamina.

INFECTIONS AND INFESTATIONS

Influenza symptoms - The body feeling and at times the manifestation of flue like symptoms.

Upper respiratory tract infections - Infection of the nose, sinuses, pharynx (part of neck and throat) or larynx (commonly known as the voice box).

MENTAL DISORDERS

Abnormal dreams - Nightmares or dreams that are upsetting to the individual.

Aggression - Hostile or destructive behavior or actions.

Agitation - A feeling where something or anything could set a person toward anger or combativeness.

Anger - Uncontrollable and volatile emotion with rage; usually an attempt to stop someone or something.

Anxiety - A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties. A state of intense apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a threatening event or situation, often to a degree that normal physical and psychological functioning is disrupted.

Apathy - A feeling of no hope, such as if anything can be done it would not work.

Bradyphrenia - A slowness of the mind.

Confusion - An impaired orientation with respect to time, place or the form of an event.

Depersonalization - A state in which the normal sense of personal identity and reality is lost, characterized by feelings that one's actions and speech cannot be controlled.

Depressed mood - A lowering of the state of mind or emotion compared to what a person normally feels.

Depression - A feeling of no hope.

Derealization - The feeling that things in one's surroundings are strange, unreal, or somehow altered, as seen in schizophrenia.

Disorientation - A loss of sense of direction, position, or relationship with one's surroundings. A temporary or permanent state of confusion regarding place, time or personal identity.

Dysphonia - An emotional state marked by anxiety, depression, and restlessness.

Euphoric mood - A feeling of great happiness or well-being, commonly exaggerated and not necessarily well founded.

Hallucination - False or distorted perception of objects or events with a compelling sense of their reality, usually resulting from a traumatic life event or drugs.

Homicidal ideation - The formation of the idea or having the mental image of murder.

Hypomania - A mild form of mania, characterized by hyperactivity and euphoria.

Impulse control - A sudden pushing or driving force. A sudden wish or urge that prompts an unpremeditated act or feeling; an abrupt inclination.

Insomnia - Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time.

Irritability - 1. The capacity to respond to stimuli. 2. Abnormal or excessive sensitivity to stimuli of organism, organ, or body part.

Libido decreased - Sexual desire decreased.

Libido increased - Sexual desire increased.

Logorrhea - Incoherent talkativeness.

Mania - A manifestation of bipolar disorder characterized by profuse and rapidly changing ideas, exaggerated gaiety, and excessive physical activity.

Mood swings - The up and or down movement of emotions that are uncontrollable.

Nervousness - Easily agitated or distressed.

Nightmare - A dream creating intense fear, horror, and distress.

Psychomotor retardation - The retardation of movement and or mental process.

Restlessness - An uneasy feeling of not being able to be where one is located comfortably.

Suicidal ideation - The formation of an idea or mental image of killing one self.

METABOLISM AND NUTRITION DISORDERS

Anorexia - Loss of appetite, usually including a fear of becoming obese or a aversion toward food.

Appetite decreased - A decrease in the feeling one needs food for survival.

Appetite increased - An increase of the desire for food for survival.

MUSCULOSKELETAL AND CONNECTIVE TISSUE DISORDERS

Arthralgia - Severe pain in a joint.

Back pain - An unexplained pain anywhere in the back.

Muscle cramps - Muscle being contracted to the point of discomfort.

Muscle twitching - A rhythmic or irregular involuntary movement of any muscle.

Myalgia - Muscular pain or tenderness, especially when nonspecific.

Pain in limb - Pain in arm or leg.

NERVOUS SYSTEM DISORDERS

Amnesia - The loss or impairment of memory.

Ataxia - Loss of the ability to coordinate muscular movement.

Coordination abnormal - Maintaining balance of the body difficult in comparison to what is normal for the person.

Disturbance in attention - Not able to remain as focused as one was able to in the past.

Dizziness - A disorienting sensation such as faintness, light-headedness, or unsteadiness.

Dysarthria - Difficulty in articulating words due to emotional stress or to paralysis or incorordination of the muscles used in speaking.

Dyskinesia - An impairment in the ability to control movements, characterized by spasmodic or repetitive motions of lack of coordination.

Headache - A continual or time specific duration with pressure or pain within the head.

Hypersomnia - A condition in which one sleeps for an excessively long time but is normal in the waking intervals.

Hypoesthesia - Drowsiness.

Hypotonia - Reduced tension or pressure, as of the intraocular fluid in the eyeball. Relaxation of the arteries.


Memory impairment - Not able to recall an instance from the past as well as before.

Mental impairment - The ability to think and reason diminished.

Paresthesia - A skin sensation, such as burning, prickling, itching, or tingling.

Sedation - An over expression of reduction of anxiety, stress, irritability or excitement.

Seizures - A sudden attack, spasm, or convulsion, as in epilepsy.

Sleep apnea - A temporary cessation of breathing while sleeping.

Sleep taking - Speaking words while asleep.

Somnolence - A state of drowsiness; sleepiness. A condition of semi-consciousness approaching coma.

Stupor - A state of impaired consciousness characterized by a marked diminution in the capacity to react to environmental stimuli.

Syncope - A brief loss of consciousness caused by a sudden fall of blood pressure or failure of cardiac systole, resulting in cerebral anemia.

Tremor - An involuntary trembling movement.

RENAL, THORACIC, AND MEDIASTINAL DISORDERS

Difficulty in micturition - Difficulty with urination or the frequency of.

Urinary frequency - An abnormal frequency of urination.

Urinary incontinence - Involuntary leakage of urine.

REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM AND BREAST DISORDERS

Dysmenorrhea - A condition marked by painful menstruation.

Premenstrual syndrome - A group of symptoms, including abdominal bloating, breast tenderness, headache, fatigue, irritability, and depression.

Sexual dysfunction - A non-normal, for the individual, behavior or ability to have sex.


RESPIRATORY, THORACIC AND MEDIASTINAL DISORDERS

Choking sensation - A feeling of choking with or without cause.

Dyspnea - Difficulty in breathing, often associated with lung or heart disease and resulting in shortness of breath.

Epistaxis - Nosebleed.

Hyperventilation - Abnormally fast or deep respiration resulting in the loss of carbon dioxide from the blood, thereby causing a decrease in blood pressure and sometimes fainting.

Nasal congestion - A stoppage or restriction of the nasal passage.

Rhinitis - Inflammation of the nasal membranes.

Rhinorrhea - A discharge from the mucous membrane, especially if excessive.

SKIN AND SUBCUTANEOUS TISSUE DISORDERS

Clamminess - Abnormally moist, sticky and cold to the touch.

Pruritus - Severe itching, often of undamaged skin.

Rash - A skin eruption.

Sweating increased - Abnormal increase of perspiration.

Urticaria - A skin condition characterized by welts that itch intensely, caused by an allergic reaction, an infection, or nervous condition.

VASCULAR DISORDERS

Hot flashes - A sudden, brief sensation of heat, often over the entire body, caused by a transient dilation of blood vessels of the skin.

Hypotension - Abnormally low arterial blood pressure.

If you've gotten this far, congratulations! I don't read blogs all the way through most of the time. May I ask, if you know Jesus Christ, please keep me in your prayers... thanks! If you don't, then be sure you know where you are going when you die. I'm not here to make judgments about your choices in life or whatever you do. I care about your soul and the glory of God. Visit my "HOPE" page.

Bible verse of the day: "The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body." - Proverbs 26:22